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::princ_es_s diaries::
-Ecc 3:11a "He has made everything beautiful in its time"-

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

i'm sick... no doubts about it... i woke up feeling faint and feverish and each time my dad came into the room to get me to wake up i would just fall right back to sleep. my head was throbbing upon getting out of the bed. apparently, a grand total of 5 people came to school today from my class which has an attendance of 27? like woo hoo... mass ponning session. very very bad. i'm actually quite sorry for those 5 people and my form teacher...

my very enthu cousin smsed me and i felt really bad that i couldn't go and see him at OCS. i promised that i would during his graduation... quote me 'i would crawl there even if i was sick'. haha. yes. he said that there wasn't much to see over there anyway. so yay. guess i made the right choice to stay at home yeah?

yesterday i stayed back till like super late in school doing pw... yikes... i seriously can't wait for it to be over. but God has really been so good to me cos if i didn't stay back i wouldn't have been able to share with Ethel about how God has really been faithful to me. it was quite a good experience. and yes, God is always faithful no matter what.

i think God has been especially faithful to be the past few weeks. everytime i feel so discouraged He never fails to remind me that i can just rely on Him. and i can just be His little lamb, resting in the shelter of His mighty wings. i suppose it is when i realise how important i am to Him that i can feel like this... yea man... this knowledge is good. i think my next challenge is really to further put His words into actions. let's use an analogy: its like, a small lil girl who is carrying an extremely heavy schoolbag. then her dad says that he would carry the school bag for her so she won't be weighed down by it. so little girl is really happy, puts down the school bag and starts taking out the school books one by one, but then after she empties her schoolbag, she looks at the pile of school books notice how many they are and pickes them up, leaving the empty school bag. i guess sometimes its not so much that we don't believe in God. its just that believing is one thing, trusting and acting is another. a lot of times, the devil will put doubts in our hearts and cause us to think about it again. and it is really difficult sometimes to get such thoughts out of our heads. but i think its because we don't really know our God and how much He can really do for us. seriously, believing is one thing, knowing is another. if u believe something, it is on the level of trusting but if u know something, there is a suggestion of assurance and positivity towards that something. yup.

i guess for a person like me, thinking is the main problem. sometimes i hate myself for thinking so much. really. i admit, especially for people who have S as their major personality type, when u start to think and get EMO, you're a gonner, cos one thought will just lead to another and another and to no end. and that's how the devil will cast doubts in the hearts of those who do think so much. so now, i strive to instead of thinking too much about it, just commit everything into His hands because i KNOW that He is the master of all time and plans and He will make all things beautiful in His time, so why should i worry? yes, i am a very stupid little lamb. maybe that's why God called us to have child-like faith and not childish faith. just trusting and knowing that He will do everything to prosper us, like a lil kid who trusts that his/her dad will always want the best for him/her. and not childish, thinking that God is somewhere far away and would never be able to reach us when we see that our prayers are not immediately answered or when we are facing some really big trial in our lives.

i talked to F5 last night in like a 5 minute convo... yes, but 5 minutes is quite enough already. at least all 5 of us managed to catch up a lil bit with each other. nat and e will be going back to MG today to promote AC... like how unfair is that? but i believe that its all in God's plan and timing lar... tho i feel a lil bit disappointed, His will be done. :)

yup. okay. i have to go and study now... 18 days to promos? something like that... but i shall just do my best and study. okie dokes.

toodles.

prettyinpink dreamt on 11:36 pm [comment]

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